Dhanteras also known as the festival of...
Love is the main ingredient of all relationships. We search for love & happiness outside in people, things & situations. But do we really find it there…….?? How much ever anybody loves us but if we do not love & accept ourselves, we can never attain the eternal happiness & peace.
Only under the Divine guidance of Satguru (Mentor) we come in the feeling of ‘I am an ocean of love’. The key to all relationships is the relationship that we have with ourselves.
As man is a social being, a major part of his learning is from relationships. We have a relationship with everything, be it our book or pencil, mobile, car, belongings, pets, friends, relatives, nature or the whole universe. The relationship that we have with ourselves is reflected in our relationship with others. For e.g. If I am frustrated with myself, I will be the same with others. If I love & accept myself then I will love & accept others too.
Relationships are like mirrors
Each person we meet in our life is like a mirror. Whatever feelings or thoughts that we experience are our own & not due to the other person. People might change but our reactions remain the same. Changing persons are like changing mirrors; so we have to change something that is within us.
While looking into the mirror, if we see a black spot, then what do we do? Do we try to clean the mirror or do we try to clean the black spot on our own face, which is actually reflected in the mirror? Similarly all relationships are like mirrors. What we perceive in others are actually the shortcomings in our own nature. When we look around, we either have a like or dislike for people, things or situations. We admire or disapprove those qualities of a person which we have either lost in our childhood or disowned from our life.
For example- If we have a boss who is critical and impossible to please, look within. Either we do that on some level or we have a belief that “bosses are always critical and impossible to please.”
If we have a child who has habits that irritate us, they are our habits. Children learn only by imitating the adults around them. Clear it within and we’ll find that they change automatically.
Change yourself and the world is changed. It is useless to blame others. It only gives away our power. The entire process is to learn, grow & march ahead on the path of our soul evolution.
The relationship we have with ourselves is the key to all relationships
Once it so happened that a monkey got trapped in a house of mirrors (sheeshmahal). When he looked around he saw so many other monkeys. He got irritated & started screeching. All the other monkeys started screeching too. When this monkey became quiet & all monkeys in the mirror became quiet.
In this story, the house of mirrors depicts the world & the monkey depicts us. If we are frustrated from within then we feel that people around are irritating us. Conversely, if we are at peace with ourselves then harmony will be reflected in all our relationships.
THINK OVER….If your mother-in-law speaks rudely, CHECK your inner feelings. Do you carry resentment, dislike, fear and anger for her? If your colleague or friend teases you and behaves rudely, CHECK your inner thought pattern. Do you carry the same dislike, jealousy or contempt for her?
What kind of relationship do we have with ourselves or how do we feel about ourselves? The relationship that we have with ourselves, is reflected in our relationship with others. The problem is not outside but in our inner thought pattern.
- I am not loved
- I am not good enough
- I am not safe
For example- A lady ends up in constant fights with her husband. The reason is that she expects too much (time, appreciation, attention, love…) from him. Deep down in her subconscious mind, there is a feeling that ‘I am not loved’. Despite of the loving & caring attitude of her husband, she still feels ‘nobody loves me’. Now where does this feeling come from? As a child she witnessed the fights between her parents. She was dragged into their fights, where she was beaten up, which was an expression of the frustration of her parents. She now believed that “I am not loved”. This is her core issue which erupts again and again.
Psychologists say that the personality of the child develops by the age of 3 years. Whatever he sees, feels & perceives from his surroundings & people around him becomes his belief system about him. The way the adults react to us as a child is often the way we react towards ourselves now, both positively and negatively.
Mentor says- “These 3 core issues represent ego, where we don’t feel connected to God. The pot of ego is always empty. How much ever someone does anything for us or loves us, it always falls short off. We never feel satisfied & complete. Thus, a void remains inside us.”
The only solution to fill this void is ‘LOVING OUR OWNSELF’. The Spiritual Master establishes our connection with the Almighty and teaches us to love our own self.
Our mind says- “I am not good enough”
Master says- “I am God’s child, I am good enough. I can do everything with the help of God.”
Mind says- “I am not loved”
Master says- “God loves each one of us immensely (sab mam priya sab mam upjaye). He is ocean of love. When we love Him, we experience love, peace and bliss within us. We are ocean of love.”
Mind says- “I am not safe”
Master says- “God is everywhere, there is not a tiniest space as equivalent to an electron where God is not present. He is all pervading, all knowing, all powerful, thus we all are always surrounded and protected by Him. I am safe in God’s hand.
This understanding of truth brings peace, happiness and fulfillment within us and our relationship with ourselves heals and thus it heals with others too.
To be Continued…